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So, I've been seeing this thing about texting in theaters being forwarded all around, and I'm responding very negatively to it and the kind of attention it has received. I'm not exactly sure why, but it really raises my blood pressure. It feels very ugly to me. (Note, the specifics of this incident do not interest me much, as little of the commentary praising it have had any knowledge of it either. I'm addressing just the response here.)
Partly, I just can't imagine why anyone would care that much about someone texting. Particularly in a theater that serves food! If you were so concerned about avoiding distractions, why would you be there in the first place? But even besides that fact, is texting really that much more distracting than the occasional whisper or giggle? It strikes me as a weird hissy fit, to want to watch a movie in public and then get all bent out of shape when the environment is slightly out of your control. Adults should be able to deal with that. I worry that we're developing a counterpart to "family friendly" in even explicitly adult areas that is equally stiffling and restrictive, like we can barely stand to be in public at all, but if we must then it had better be micromanaged down to the smallest detail.
Partly, it reminds me of the tedious and lingering anti-cellphone populism of the turn of the century. Now it's part of a larger reaction against people being connected all the time. Which I guess annoys some people? Multitasking is a survival trait now, so get used to it. Being network connected makes me better. I'm smarter, faster at accomplishing goals, I have a better memory, I'm more social. So I take it poorly when someone wants in any way to shut that down because of vague politeness concerns. Can it be done rudely? Sure! That's no reason for a blanket ban. Maybe the lowest brightness settings on phones could stand to be even lower. Mine certainly could, and I'd welcome that change. (On my Nexus One, the Kindle app can actually take the screen darker than the system settings can. Weird.) But I'm getting really sick of seeing self-righteous complaints about "are things online really that much more interesting than real life". Well, yes, often they are, because online is THE ENTIRE REST OF THE WORLD. If the fact that ALL OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE is sometimes more interesting than making smalltalk with you, I don't think the problem here is with me. You'v
Partly, so much of the commentary is focusing on the caller's word choice. The undertones of classism are really unpleasant. And, of course, lots of misogyny coming out of the woodwork as well.
I dunno. My reaction is obviously emotional, but so is everyone else's. I'm pretty comfortable not being on the side of the "yeah, fuck that bitch!" internet patrol.
Partly, I just can't imagine why anyone would care that much about someone texting. Particularly in a theater that serves food! If you were so concerned about avoiding distractions, why would you be there in the first place? But even besides that fact, is texting really that much more distracting than the occasional whisper or giggle? It strikes me as a weird hissy fit, to want to watch a movie in public and then get all bent out of shape when the environment is slightly out of your control. Adults should be able to deal with that. I worry that we're developing a counterpart to "family friendly" in even explicitly adult areas that is equally stiffling and restrictive, like we can barely stand to be in public at all, but if we must then it had better be micromanaged down to the smallest detail.
Partly, it reminds me of the tedious and lingering anti-cellphone populism of the turn of the century. Now it's part of a larger reaction against people being connected all the time. Which I guess annoys some people? Multitasking is a survival trait now, so get used to it. Being network connected makes me better. I'm smarter, faster at accomplishing goals, I have a better memory, I'm more social. So I take it poorly when someone wants in any way to shut that down because of vague politeness concerns. Can it be done rudely? Sure! That's no reason for a blanket ban. Maybe the lowest brightness settings on phones could stand to be even lower. Mine certainly could, and I'd welcome that change. (On my Nexus One, the Kindle app can actually take the screen darker than the system settings can. Weird.) But I'm getting really sick of seeing self-righteous complaints about "are things online really that much more interesting than real life". Well, yes, often they are, because online is THE ENTIRE REST OF THE WORLD. If the fact that ALL OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE is sometimes more interesting than making smalltalk with you, I don't think the problem here is with me. You'v
Partly, so much of the commentary is focusing on the caller's word choice. The undertones of classism are really unpleasant. And, of course, lots of misogyny coming out of the woodwork as well.
I dunno. My reaction is obviously emotional, but so is everyone else's. I'm pretty comfortable not being on the side of the "yeah, fuck that bitch!" internet patrol.
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A few years ago I got a text message during a movie that allowed us to discreetly leave the show and go see my husband's father in the emergency room, after his horrible industrial accident where no one was sure if he would live or die. We got to comfort his wife and be with him in the ICU, thanks to the ubiquitous connectedness it is now possible to enjoy. If the momentary flicker of my phone's screen or me rustling my coat disturbed someone, I'm not particularly remorseful. It's just a movie. That people were willingly watching in a theatre with a hundred other human beings.
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And the rare emergency doesn't justify it in general, any more than the existence of people who physically can't walk justifies driving one's car a quarter mile to the grocery store to pick up milk.
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At what point does the accusation of derailing become a derailing tactic itself? That's an awfully heavy gun to roll out so easily.
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Peer pressure is really the only way to get people to change their habits in public spaces, if it's just the manegement that doesn't like it, not that many people are going to care.
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I'm actually not horribly bothered by texting, possibly because my own brain and body are more distracting to me than a lot of outside stimuli. I am more bothered by ringtones and answering of phones. A movie is largely visual, and food in the dark isn't, so I can see how a bright light would be more distracting than food to many patrons. Eating makes noise, but that's probably why the sound is so frickin' loud at most theaters.
I do not know how clear the Alamo Drafthouse was about communicating its "no texting" policy -- if they weren't clear, she certainly has a legitimate complaint. If they were clear, she should've either respected the rules of the venue or not bitched when she was caught. She comes off as stupid and bratty just for that, as well as her language.
Very few people actually are as interesting as the whole rest of the world. You actually know some exceptions. Not everyone does. It's polite to pay attention to them anyway if you are, say, on a date, or specifically getting service from them.
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The general principle of not turning on little blinking lights near other people in a dark room who are busy suspending disbelief? I have to continue to support Luddite etiquette here. I can't conceive of a useful light level low enough that I wouldn't find it incredibly jarring.
Edited to add: Having read the comments from people who have responded to legitimate emergencies in a theater, yes, it's a more polite alternative. Setting phone to vibrate, glancing with screen shielded, leaving when you see it's important, these are all perfectly reasonable.
In my world, the target of discussion is people who think that because it doesn't make noise, it's appropriate to unapologetically turn a flashlight on and off in their lap. Surreptitiously checking for something important is not what someone will kick you out of a theater for.
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While I am on board with pretty much EVERYTHING that Fishy said in his post, I know I find it extremely distracting when I'm in class and I can see the bright screen of someone else's phone or laptop, and of course that's amplified even further in a dark theater.
If you can do it without bothering people, of course that's fine. I have checked texts in a movie theater before. I just do it carefully.
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There's a place for insisting on politeness, but it's so easy for that to turn into insisting on monoculture/because-that-is-how-we-have-always-done-it-so-you-must-too in the guise of insisting on politeness.
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There is a phrase/term I'm working refining . . . something about those who have "entitled to be offended" attitudes. Our culture seems to be breeding it.
-B.
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I figure that this isn't something we need a universal standard for, and what bugs me is the suggestion that we need and/or already have a universal standard. I'd much rather it be the case that theaters express policies clearly and enforce policies consistently, people choose theaters based on what qualities they like in a theater, and- ideally- there are a range of choices available. There are cases where I'd check text messages during a movie, knowing that the theater's policies forbade it, but a) I'd be trying to be discreet & would not be sending responses, because I know that I find the light bothersome, and b) it would need to be because I was keeping an eye out for a message important enough that being asked to leave and forfeiting the ticket price would be worth it.
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The smell was *way* more distracting than I had thought it would be. I got angry glares from several other patrons. But the crime was unusual enough that no one complained to the point of having me ejected.
It's really all the same kind of issue as talking aloud in theaters, and the shushing when people abuse it. Strict rules are no substitute for people learning how to handle the new tech.
And americans such at sharing public space with each other.
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I have found it useful, for anti-cellphone sentiments, to ask if they'd mind me talking to a person physically there in the same circumstances. And if they don't mind the live person but do mind the phone, usually that at least makes them pause and reconsider their perspective.
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Similarly, when I'm onstage with the symphony, sometimes people think they can take pictures. (They can't.) They courteously disable the flash, of course, but that bright orange autofocus lamp SHINES OUT! like a marine rescue beacon. I've missed entrances when one of those things goes off, it just pulls focus like a magnet.
If I can't see the light? Heck, text away. But if I'm in a deliberately darkened room, yeah, I might have a big problem with you turning on a relatively bright light.