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Thursday, August 30th, 2007 09:43 pm
Help! I'm stuck in the middle of the Strait of Georgia with a bunch of drunk grad students!
Friday, August 31st, 2007 04:53 am (UTC)
This is a problem why?
Friday, August 31st, 2007 05:28 am (UTC)
Well, at least they're drunk.
Friday, August 31st, 2007 12:15 pm (UTC)
"Worst case scenarios: Canadian Edition"

How to Wrestle Free from a drunk grad student

1. If you are on land, try to get on the drunk grad student’s back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down.

2. Cover the drunk grad student’s eyes. This will usually make it more sedate.

3. If you are attacked, go for the eyes and nose. Use any weapon you have, or your fist.

4. If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (for example, a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. drunk grad student often open their mouths when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of, and back off.

5. If the drunk grad student gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or rolling over—these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the drunk grad student does not begin shaking.

6. Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small cut or bruise, to treat infection. drunk grad student have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths.

How to Avoid an Attack

While deaths in the United States from drunk grad student attacks are rare, there are thousands of attacks and hundreds of fatalities from Nile drunk grad students in Africa and Indopacific crocodiles in Asia and Australia. A few tips to keep in mind:

1. Do not swim or wade in areas drunk grad student are known to inhabit (in Florida, this can be anywhere).

2. Do not swim or wade alone, and always check out the area before venturing in.

3. Never feed drunk grad student.

4. Do not dangle arms and legs from boats, and avoid throwing unused bait or fish from a boat or dock.

5. Do not harass, try to touch, or capture any drunk grad student.

6. Leave babies and eggs alone. Any adult drunk grad student will respond to a distress call from any youngster. Mother drunk grad students guarding nests and babies will defend them.

7. In most cases the attacking drunk grad student had been fed by humans prior to the attack. This is an important link—feeding alligators seems to cause them to lose their fear and make them more aggressive.
Friday, August 31st, 2007 02:18 pm (UTC)
I love lists of helpful suggestions!

You learn so much
Saturday, September 1st, 2007 05:38 am (UTC)
Hmm, were any of them missing feet? (http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2007/08/31/bc-feet.html)