When my roommate Lea and I (a.k.a. the Wondertwins) thought of this a few years back we decided we were the comic relief, and that we were probably in some rip-off of Real Genius. We suspected the main character to be plantae, since she was the only one that wasn't totally insane.
These days... I'd suspect corivax. Which is not to say s/he's not totally insane. S/he's just got the most MarySue tags on.
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These days... I'd suspect