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For the record, I love April Fools Day. Maybe I've been spared cruel and unfunny pranks in my life, but I just like having a day where you know you can't trust what you read. It's good practice for the rest of the year.
April 2nd, 2003
It strikes me that April Fools Day is a serious problem for national security.
Imagine you're a crazed dictator with a sizable, mobile army and you want to invade the US. You could just go invade any old day of the year, with lots of explosions and olive drab and whatnot. Or you could dress up your army in clown outfits use use poisoned/highly acidic cream pies for weapons -- and invade on April 1. It would take a day before anyone believed there actually was such an invasion. More than enough time to establish a very strong beachhead.
The more I think about this, the more sense it makes. I bet Saddam was planning something like this -- hence the administration's insane rush to war. It also explains Powell's rather poor performance at the UN. We must have had all kinds of evidence of Iraqi clown-related activities, but it all looked too silly to present to the Security Council. Even Ari Fleischer wouldn't be able to keep a straight face giving a press conference on suspected smuggling of big clown shoes from North Korea to Iraq.
Wow, I wasn't even planning on working an Ari Fleischer dig in. I'm really getting out of control here.
So, yeah, clowns.
Imagine you're a crazed dictator with a sizable, mobile army and you want to invade the US. You could just go invade any old day of the year, with lots of explosions and olive drab and whatnot. Or you could dress up your army in clown outfits use use poisoned/highly acidic cream pies for weapons -- and invade on April 1. It would take a day before anyone believed there actually was such an invasion. More than enough time to establish a very strong beachhead.
The more I think about this, the more sense it makes. I bet Saddam was planning something like this -- hence the administration's insane rush to war. It also explains Powell's rather poor performance at the UN. We must have had all kinds of evidence of Iraqi clown-related activities, but it all looked too silly to present to the Security Council. Even Ari Fleischer wouldn't be able to keep a straight face giving a press conference on suspected smuggling of big clown shoes from North Korea to Iraq.
Wow, I wasn't even planning on working an Ari Fleischer dig in. I'm really getting out of control here.
So, yeah, clowns.
I just added ari fleischer jokes as an interest. Oddly enough, no one else has. Everyone should, because Ari Fleischer is funny.
Ari Fleischer should get a pet monkey. Whitehouse press conferences would become even cooler.
Ook ook!
Ook ook!
For some reason the the US embassy in Stockholm has an Ari Fleischer biography on its website. There is even a nice picture of him shortly after his chin-replacement surgery.
But the best -- the best -- part of this page is that the US embassy in Stockholm is on Dag Hammarskjold Way!
Dag Hammarskjold will haunt me forever.
But the best -- the best -- part of this page is that the US embassy in Stockholm is on Dag Hammarskjold Way!
Dag Hammarskjold will haunt me forever.
To get the image out of my head (and into yours) I just created an artist's rendering of Ari Fleischer with a pet monkey.
I suspect that should be a 'bozo's rendering', really.
I suspect that should be a 'bozo's rendering', really.